Even after my parents died and no one was living in their home, I still called out, “Hello, I’m here!” whenever I entered the house. It wasn’t because I’d forgotten they were gone or that I was in denial or doing some wishful thinking. It was because I felt a strong sense of presence whenever I entered the house.
It was the presence of The Hoard, the fifth member of the family. The one who demanded the most space, who imposed itself on all of us, who affected each of our lives in different ways and colored our experiences physically, mentally, and emotionally. The selfish, obnoxious one who never cleaned up after itself and spread out across every available surface, creating a cramped, dark space where there once had been light.
This isn’t to say we weren’t accountable for The Hoard or that we didn’t contribute to its growth and to it assuming such a tremendous amount of power.
Like the blobby monster of a 1950s horror movie, The Hoard had taken on a life of its own and could inflict maximum damage.
Why do I tell you this?
It’s important for you to know that cleaning up a hoard is different from spring cleaning. Yeah, yeah, I know you already know that the sheer amount of stuff makes the cleanup different, because you’re smart like that.
But a hoard cleanup is absolutely saturated with emotions and memories, too. The Hoard will mess with your mind, will work every angle to get you to give up, and will try to convince you that it’s an impossible task to ever be rid of it so you might as well run away now while you still can.
Let me tell you a secret: The Hoard is a big fat liar.
The truth is that you CAN make changes. It may be slow, hard, and seemingly thankless, but it ain’t impossible. The Hoard might be sneaky and do things like setting off avalanches of stuff to bury the space you’d cleared off just minutes ago. It’s a bastard like that, but you’re stronger. You can chip away until The Hoard becomes a lowercase “hoard” again and then chip away some more until the hoard is a bad memory.
You’re going to be afraid. When you get started, though, the fear begins to get pushed out by excitement at getting rid of something that’s caused a lot of pain. You can start anticipating the brighter days ahead in which stuff is stuff, and it doesn’t get in the way of living more freely and having better relationships with your loved ones. Remember, Things Can Be Different.
Do you need advice on how to get started with your hoarding cleanup? Check out the Start Cleaning page. If you’d like some more support from groups or professionals, find those details on the Hoarding & Mental Health Resources page.
Hope and joy,
Rachel
