Dealing with Depression and Hoarding

Depression sucks. Simple statement, but not a simple experience. When you’re coping with a hoard or wrestling with your own hoarding tendencies, there are likely going to be times that feel pretty dark and bleak, maybe even hopeless. 

SPECIAL NOTE: If you are feeling suicidal, please immediately go to the end of this post for links and phone numbers to connect with suicide hotline counselors who can provide immediate support, or please contact your local emergency service (911 in the US). 

Depression Can Affect Anyone 

This post isn’t just for hoarders. It’s for anyone who’s found themselves struggling with the blues, anxiety, panic, soul-crushing depression, apathy, and anything else on the “I feel like crap” mood spectrum, because the world can feel like an all-you-can-eat misery smorgasbord sometimes. 

So if you managed to get out of bed today or engage with the world in any form or fashion, I want to celebrate you. It is time to appreciate yourself for whatever you did that was any effort whatsoever. And if that effort was, “I stayed alive,” then you get extra cheers.  

“Achievement” Is Context-Sensitive

It’s one thing to tackle a whole to-do list when you’re feeling like a high-flying super achiever where everything’s going your way. 

It’s something else to try and accomplish even one thing, such as “get out of bed” or “brush my teeth” or “keep breathing” when you feel as though your world is collapsing, when everything seems bleak and hopeless, or when the thought of interacting with people makes your pulse race, your blood pressure skyrocket, and your stomach hurt. That’s when you need to adjust your concept of what “achievement” is.

I’m not a medical professional and this post isn’t meant to offer medical advice, ’cause obviously I’m only a hoarding blogger and not your doctor or nurse. That said, I do have plenty of lived experience in feeling shitty (like, “I am unable to make it to class, work, or cope in any kind of healthy way, and this depression will never ever ever release me from its hellish grasp” shitty), so I would like to share my perspective and what’s helped me cope. 

Remember That Feelings Are Temporary

I feel like a lot of people need to hear this right now, or need to be reminded of it if they’ve already heard it but are having trouble believing it: This awful feeling is temporary, and it is going to pass.

There are some things you can do to help lessen the pain a bit. First, try not to waste time and energy by berating yourself for feeling bad. This sounds easier than it is. 

When you’re depressed, your mind can make you think that somehow you’re missing the obvious trick of just turning that frown upside-down and becoming blissfully happy like you think everyone else is. And some well-meaning people may imply the same, not understanding how complex it can be to cope with a mood disorder, mental illness, or other psychological, traumatic, physical, or emotional challenge. Which only serves to make you feel crappier. 

Tune that stuff out and just try to accept that things feel bad right now BUT they will feel better one day, even if it seems impossible and you’re having trouble imagining it. 

Celebrate the Small Victories

Another suggestion is to celebrate any achievement, of any size. This is a handy technique at any time but can be especially crucial when you feel miserable. When life feels like too much, it’s time to break that big overwhelming mass down into its individual pieces. Forget the forest. And forget the tree, too. Start with one teensy leaf.  

For example, instead of thinking “Why am I still sitting in my apartment instead of getting up at 5 am to run a half-marathon, balance my checkbook, start a business, and cook a gourmet meal for four people?” you gotta break it down to something befitting the context of your mood or situation. If you can say, “I woke up today and am still choosing to be alive,” that’s a moment to appreciate yourself.

“I got out of bed because I remembered that when I don’t, it makes me feel ten times worse and gives me another reason to hate on myself.” Give yourself a fully un-ironic “Hooray!”

“I decided to reach out to someone because I’m tired of trying to white-knuckle it through this alone.” It’s time for cake! Seriously. 

Other Ways to Cope with Depression

The list below includes multiple other methods you may want to explore that can help alleviate some aspects of depression, anxiety, panic disorders, and other challenges: 

• Get a little exercise (even if it’s walking to the mailbox and back).
• Eat healthier foods to make your body feel better (even if you substitute one fruit or vegetable for a fried piece of something you could’ve eaten instead).
• Sit in the sun for a few minutes.
• Pet an animal or watch a cute critter video (it’ll lower your blood pressure and heart rate and improve your mood). 
• Spend time with friends or family. Even if you’re not in the mood to hang out, you might wind up unintentionally having a moment where you aren’t feeling depressed or thinking about your stress.
• Get some self-care in the form of massage, acupuncture, reiki, or other healing.
• Work with a therapist and talk it out. 
• Have a consultation with your doctor and get blood work done to see if there are any additional physical factors, such as a vitamin deficiency or thyroid imbalance, contributing to what you’re feeling.
• Check in with your psychiatrist and physician if you’re on medication. You may need to have your levels tested, or they may be able to suggest another medicine, dosage, or option that might be more effective for you.
• Read about one mental health resource that might be useful.

Start Small Right Now 

For today, though, I’d like for you to start small and simply focus on being grateful to yourself for what you’ve already managed to do. On days when you feel lousy, the one item that matters on your To-Do List is “to stay alive.” 

You may have to go through the motions to complete other day-to-day activities so you can pay the bills, and that can feel like a Sisyphean effort. But if you can keep reminding yourself that you’ve already done the one crucial, must-do thing for yourself that day, i.e., stayed alive, you can make it through the rest, one itsy-bitsy step at a time.  

Depression and Hoarding

To circle back to the beginning, dealing with a hoard or with hoarding tendencies can make you susceptible to mood struggles. It has nothing to do with how mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually strong you think you are. Dealing with a disordered home is tough and can have various impacts on you, whether you consciously realize it or not. And as I’ve mentioned in other posts, studies have also found correlations between hoarding and other disorders related to anxiety, depression, and low mood. In addition to the tips above, you might benefit from exploring the hoarding books and resources I reference on my site. 

Please try to realize that while you’re working hard to physically change your own cluttered space or that of a loved one, you’re also doing deep, beautiful work to empower yourself or your friend, clearing space for better opportunities and more happiness to follow, even if it only looks like a bunch of garbage bags, sweat, and tears from where you’re currently standing. 

I see you, I’m here for you, and I’m wishing you much hope and joy.

-Rachel

SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (United States), https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org, 1-800-273-8255

Suicide Hotlines in the United States (links to different states’ suicide hotlines) http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html

International Suicide Hotlines (links to different countries’ suicide hotlines), http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html 

The Trevor Project (links to Chat, Call or Text a counselor) https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/, 1-866-488-7386 (to call a counselor) or text ‘START’ to 678-678