If you’re struggling to come up with holiday gift ideas for friends and family members who hoard or compulsively collect, fear not. The following hoarder gift guide will give you some suggestions on how to show your affection without compounding your loved one’s problem.

Besides, even if you’re not shopping for a hoarder, it doesn’t hurt to be more conscious about the things you buy and their lifespan beyond the immediate thrill of the purchase.

Be a Conscious Consumer

• Shop sustainably: Consider buying from B Corporation Certified companies that operate ethically and are focused on their social and environmental impact. For starters, check out “The 10 Most Environmentally Friendly & Sustainable Companies (2021)” or “16 B Corps Making Products We Love That You Can Feel Good About Buying.” You can also do internet searches for “sustainable gifts”; “zero waste gifts” or “conscious consumer gifts” to get even more ideas. Vintage gifts are also a great way to get new life from an old item.
• Invest in businesses and organizations supporting communities in need: Some organizations like FreeFrom empower survivors not only via donations but also through product sales. You can support them when you shop Gifted by FreeFrom.  
• Support small businesses: Buy items from your favorite local businesses, especially consumable goods that won’t take up space in your chronically disorganized friend’s home. Or spend some time on Etsy and support artists and artisans.

Gift Ideas

• Items that will disappear when used, such as food, candy, soap, or lotion: If your family member will use the item instead of hoarding it, this is a safe bet. You can also show off your “kitchen witch” crafting skills this way.
• Gift cards for restaurants and services: Nowadays the “card” is usually a digital code instead of an actual plastic item. You can’t take up less space than that. 
• Charitable donation in their name: Many organizations have had huge demand and limited funds during the pandemic. Focus on the philanthropic nature of the holidays and give the gift of helping those who need it. Plus, your friend will get only an email or letter to acknowledge the donation, so you’re not adding a huge item to their hoard. 
• Personalized video or a digital collage: Continuing the theme of the digital-only gift, you can create something that’s personally meaningful and thoughtful without requiring any physical space.
• Digital picture frame: Load it up with pictures of your fun times together. Many hoarders feel compelled to document their experiences or preserve their memories and sense of ownership with photos. If you can get them to collect digital photos instead of hard-copy prints, you are way ahead of the game.  
• Library card: Help your hoarder learn to love checking out books from the library rather than over-acquiring and filling their home.
• Virtual yoga class membership: Be their exercise buddy and get healthy together online. Plenty of yoga studios offer affordable month-to-month memberships or small packages of classes to purchase, usually with a holiday or New Year’s discount. 
• Educational classes or streaming services: Give the gift of knowledge. There are lots of great classes on Skillshare, or you can gift them a Gaia or CuriosityStream membership to watch documentaries and other fascinating programs.
• Your time and encouragement: Commit to spending X amount of time each week or month with them (on FaceTime, Zoom, or in person when safe to do so) to help go through their possessions, if your loved one has expressed a willingness to tackle their hoarding problem. Make it clear that they will make the decisions about their own possessions and that you will be there only as their cheerleader, coach, and an extra set of hands to do grunt work. Promise that you won’t remove items without their permission or boss them around. ONLY offer this if you are capable of delivering on it. If you will be too tempted to take over or berate them for their behavior, stick with the other gift suggestions above. If they’re doing well with the cleanup, you can help them upgrade their cleaning tools or get some items for organizing what they plan to keep. 
• Books to help them understand and deal with their hoarding behavior: As with the previous gift idea, these are most effective if your loved one has mentioned their desire to overcome their hoarding tendencies. Otherwise, the books might not be helpful or welcome. Buried in Treasures and The Hoarder in You have particularly useful and practical worksheets, lists, tips, and exercises to help your hoarder. The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up is a best-seller for a reason, with easy-to-understand concepts and advice on how to purge excess items and organize your space. You can also skim through my list of other hoarding, organizing, and cleaning books.

That feeling when you give the perfect gift

Gift-giving Tips

• Wrap your gifts in recyclable materials. 

There’s a chance that your loved one may keep the wrapping paper, gift bag, or tissue paper anyway, but if it’s recyclable they might be able to let it go without feeling bad about it. If it’s not something that will go into a landfill, it helps alleviate the anxiety of discarding it. 

• Focus on experiences. 

Make happy memories with your loved one that have nothing to do with their hoard. By engaging in a healthy activity, they’re also less likely to find a bulky or expensive souvenir.

• Tailor the gift to your loved one’s personality and interests. 

If your family member is agoraphobic, they won’t be as apt to leave the house for an activity. That’s when you have to get creative and either bring the positive experience to them or find a soothing location (even if it’s out in their yard) where they can feel comfortable and still get out of their hoarded home for a while.  

• Help them get comfortable viewing gifts as experiences versus permanent keepsakes. 

As Marie Kondo writes inThe Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up, “The true purpose of a present is to be received. Presents are not ‘things’ but a means for conveying someone’s feelings.” The simple act of receiving the gift fulfills its purpose. You aren’t obligated to keep it forever. If you don’t have space to keep the item or it’s just not your style, be thankful for the fact that someone cares about you enough to give you a gift, and express that thanks to the gift-giver. Then donate the item or pass it on with a grateful heart. 

Hope and joy,

Rachel